Patience equals power

While traveling abroad recently, I learned something about how people handle communication barriers. When you’re out of your comfort zone, it’s an incredible test of your patience. Visiting a foreign country and not being able to speak the local language can be quite frustrating, especially when you’re trying to get directions, make a purchase or decipher a menu. But when you react negatively to the locals in response to your frustration, you only make matters worse. Openly displaying impatience to the person you are trying to communicate with is just plain disrespectful.

I was disappointed to witness someone fly off the handle unnecessarily on several occasions during our travels. She lacked patience and lacked respect for those around her. Having patience—that is, stepping back and choosing to remain calm when you’re having trouble communicating—instantly earns you power and respect. I saw that firsthand. This kind of power lets you take control of any difficult situation and work toward making it better. Losing your cool does nothing but bring you the wrong kind of attention. It’s one of the worst ways of trying to get what you want.

Patience and power. Until now, I never realized just how much those two words make sense together.

xo,

David

One person CAN make a difference

This past weekend I attended a bridal expo in the Outer Banks, North Carolina, where I met the most remarkable young girl named Hayley. It was a highlight of a seven-week block of travel (which included flying on 16 different planes!). Hayley is a sweet girl with a beautiful heart. She started a charitable organization called Every-1 to help create jobs worldwide in a way that people in tough economic times can afford to give, one dollar at a time. Hayley’s message is simply that everyone can make a difference. And it’s so true! Every act of kindness, no matter how small, can really change the world. I truly believe that. Hayley, you are an inspiration—not only to me, but to everyone!

To help Hayley in her mission, visit her site: www.every-1.org.

I love my family

Last Sunday I attended a Christmas dinner hosted by my aunt Maria—who’s like a sister to me—and her amazing husband, Andre. This dinner was special for many reasons. First, Maria (or Ria, as I call her) and her family have endured a challenging year because of Andre’s ongoing battle with cancer. I am constantly amazed how they are able to get through each day with such dignity and grace. The way they are able to focus on being positive and celebrating the joys in life is remarkable and truly inspiring.

Sunday’s dinner was an especially beautiful celebration. Ria invited relatives who we often see at our family gatherings, family members we don’t see often enough, and then there were a few relatives who some of us hadn’t seen in decades—if at all. I felt the warmth and abundance of love as soon as I stepped inside the home. Ria has this thing she says that always makes me smile because I hear in her voice how much she means every word. She says “I love my little family.” And it’s so true. Family is everything. She literally brought our little family together by organizing such a wonderful dinner. The food was great, and the company was even better. It was a magical time. I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas gift. Thank you, Ria. And happy holidays, everyone!

xoxoxo,

David

Is Customer Service a lost art?

It never ceases to amaze me how customer service can range from good to... practically nonexistent. I love the experience of going to a store or restaurant and encountering a staff member who clearly loves her job. She greets the customer with a smile and exudes a passion for what she does. In turn, the customer feels good and eager to return the favor (perhaps by rewarding that person with a generous tip).

I think customer service is becoming a lost art because these days there are so many people doing jobs that they just don’t want to do. Personally, I can’t imagine being that unhappy with the work I do every day. Because then not only are you unhappy, but everyone you interact with can sense that and it puts a damper on their day too.

Customer service is exactly what those two words mean: serving the customer. And when you receive bad customer service you can’t help but be upset. I recently went to Best Buy and had a HORRIBLE experience. I was literally standing beneath a big sign that read “Customer Service” while having a disagreement with the store manager. I was explaining to her that a store representative had promised me something earlier (which my partner, Ryan, had heard as well), and then when I was going to take him up on the offer, he lied right to my face and said he hadn’t offered me the deal. The manager refused to help me in any way, and I kept reminding her that I was standing at the counter for “customer service.” In an almost comical way, I even pointed up at the sign as if she didn’t know—embarrassing Ryan in the process, who I could tell was thinking, “Oh my god, he’s pointing out the sign....” But it was just shocking to me that someone who is working in the customer service department could have no understanding of what customer service actually is.

All too often, when you go to Starbucks in a big city like New York, the cashier doesn’t look up, doesn’t smile, doesn’t ask you how you are, and doesn’t say “thank you.” However, when you go to the smaller parts of the country, the person behind the counter usually looks up and says right away, “Hi, how are you?” and then “Thank you for your order.” And this person seems to really mean it. This is what should be happening everywhere, all the time. Kindness and courtesy are extremely contagious. Good customer service results in good client relations, which creates a positive environment and keeps everybody happy. Really, it’s the simple things—like a genuine smile—that can make the biggest difference.

xo,
David

Mind your manners

Have you ever sat in a restaurant and been embarrassed for a dining companion who treated the wait staff poorly? You can learn a lot about someone—both good and bad—when you go out to eat with them. If he or she treats the waiter like hired help, it’s obvious to me that they have never been on that side of the fence.

I had gone on several business meetings with one associate who I thought was sweet… until I realized what kind of person she really was, based on how she behaved in a restaurant. When we went out for breakfast, she would literally scold the waiters. One day she asked the waiter to bring kosher salt for her omelet. The waiter brought table salt (which has smaller granules), and she said, “No, I told you I wanted kosher salt. Do you know what kosher salt is?” And so he brought another kind of salt, to which she scathed, “This is not kosher salt. Would you mind bringing me back to the kitchen so I can show you what kosher salt is?”

I was mortified just to be associated with her. I mean, really? It’s just salt... Eat the eggs without salt or use the salt you have... crazy! I actually leaned toward the waiter and mouthed “I’m sorry.” The next time we scheduled a breakfast meeting, all I wanted to do was call in advance and request kosher salt for our table because I couldn’t bear to watch another scene like that again.

I can certainly relate to the waiter because I worked service jobs when I was younger. I mowed lawns, delivered newspapers, and swept floors at a flower shop. When I was a room service waiter, I remember being barked at for any little thing. If I was a second late, the guests had a fit.

Pay attention to people when you go to restaurants—whether it’s a diner or five-star restaurant. Watch how they treat a waiter… it says everything. And by the way, if you’re the one being nasty to your waiter, I’d be a bit worried about my food if I were you! If you’ve seen Waiting..., you know exactly what I’m talking about.

It’s just like that old saying… you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. A smile, a hello, a please and thank you are such easy things to do and say… and they get you so much in return.

xoxo,
David

Halloween is fun for kids and adults

Halloween is one of those holidays, which for me is more of a season than a holiday, when adults can be kids and kids can be adults. It’s pure fun, so embrace it! I think sometimes people get too stressed out about it all. Maybe they don’t want to put on a costume because they think it might not be over the top enough or they don’t want to have a Halloween party because they think it might not be as fabulous as they want. Don’t overthink it!

In my household, celebrating Halloween was a big deal for my mom. She and my dad always set up a haunted house in our front lawn, complete with a real casket! So I see Halloween as a time to be silly and let go of all the stressors that are around you on a daily basis. Crafting is a great thing to do during Halloween. You can have fun making wonderful little things for both kids and adults—whether it’s cupcakes or cookies decorated with gummy worms and other creepy crawlies, or creating a chic Halloween party with inexpensive candles and fabrics, like the one I did last week on CBS’s The Talk. I had a blast creating a mad scientist's lab for the kids and a sparkly spider soiree for an adult party.

Whether you dress up and go trick or treating, go to a party, host a party, or all of the above, the point is to just go out and have a great time!

To my fans of ALL ages

Next to meeting so many incredible brides and being able to make their wedding dreams come true, what I love MOST about My Fair Wedding is how it brings families together—that is, the families who gather around the living room to watch the show faithfully each week. It makes me so happy to know that multiple generations—grandparents along with their children and their grandkids... and maybe even their great grandkids—have something to look forward to on Sundays. I love meeting these viewers and hearing their stories about how the show has given them another chance to bond and laugh with their families. In our crazy-busy lives, we could all use some more of that!

One of my most wonderful and devoted fans is 82-year-old Dorothy, whom I had the pleasure of meeting recently. She is a huge follower of the show and especially enjoys watching it with her loved ones. I could probably have spent hours listening to Dorothy’s funny anecdotes and her takes on some of the more crazy ideas my brides had in mind for their wedding. The show makes her smile, and getting to know her made me smile—which is so important because feeling the joy is what it’s all about!

Dorothy, I adore you! Thank you for sharing your happiness and for touching my heart.

xoxo,
David