Friday, February 3, 2012

No time for Goodbyes

I have an amazing family. I really do. My parents and grandparents especially have taught me so much over the years that has helped me to become the person I am today. One of these important lessons came from my dad. I speak to him, like I do my mom, once or twice a day. And he always has this thing about never saying goodbye to me at the end of a conversation… ever! He doesn’t let people say goodbye to him. If you do it without thinking, he either won’t respond or he’ll say something else in return, like have a good day or good night. Saying goodbye is a big issue for him.
And because of him it’s become an issue for me too. I’ve found that when I go to parties or when I’m with my brides from My Fair Wedding, I don’t say goodbye. As a result, I’ve been told that sometimes I come off as aloof or rude when I leave events without notice. I remember one time I attended a surprise 40th birthday party for a friend I hadn’t seen in years, and at the end of the night I left quietly. Mind you, I’d spent five hours mingling at the party. I just didn’t say goodbye.
Like my dad, I find the word “goodbye” to be very final. It doesn’t leave a door open to reconnect like “I’ll see you in a day” or “I’ll see you in ten years.” I’d rather not have that final moment with someone that I very much want to hear from again. And those people include my brides from My Fair Wedding as well as my clients-turned-friends.
Not saying goodbye to someone means you look forward to the next time you’re going to see that person. And for me personally, it almost forces me to mentally make plans to meet again because I feel like I owe my friends that next moment because I didn’t say goodbye. This way of thinking is subconscious and… maybe a little odd… but it works for me.
xo,
David

11 comments:

  1. I never thought of it that way, but that is so phenomenal.. David, you are such an inspiration..! I've spent the last week watching 2seasons of My Fair Wedding - non stop..!! I'm addicted.. I keep telling people that when I'm a recognized celebrity, I will call you up and take you out for coffee.. So remember my name David..! Catia Madalena, the next big star... No goodbyes, but I'll meet you in a few years, my friend... ♥♪

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  2. Great blog post - very personal and matter of fact. Although many swoop out unannounced, your reason for no goodbye is heartfelt. From childhood, I have always made sure to say goodbye its the last moment together. Probably weird that I've always done that, but it's always been a concern of mine. Maybe it's the fact that I was surrounded by older people with much older parents. Basically, this rambling is to thank you for another unique perspective on goodbyes.

    Smiles,
    Ashley
    California

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    Replies
    1. Hi David i just want to tell you I love you omg you are so amazingly funny, an your ideas or over the top great, i just wanted you to know this. I look at your show all the time. I never send messages like this, but I had to send this one to you. Keep up the good work David you are the best.

      Hugs you
      Lili
      virginia

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  3. I agree with you and your father. I hate goodbyes as well and hate saying it even more. I just sent you a message to your info email for you and your team that I am hoping you get to read. I am getting married on March 3, 2012 and am having a huge dilemma from a horrible thing that keeps happening to me. I just keep my head up and pray. Thanks to you and your ideas that I read about or see on your show, I have accomplished a lot and have created a lot for my wedding saving me a lot. I am 38 with kids and my finance 39 with kids. We are trying to pay bills and pay for this wedding on our own. I really need your advice and help. I hope you can get back to me soon. Thanks so much for what you do.
    Love, Teresa Spikings Berwyn, Illinois

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  4. Hi David,

    I always enjoy reading your posts and most of all, watching the amazing work you do on your show! It's truly humbling to see what you do for others and the emotions you bring out from each individual. You know that's a gift, right? I was wondering- I'm sure this isn't exactly the correct place to write this but I am a freelance makeup artist that would love to give back by doing makeup for your brides/bridesmaids on your show if there was ever an opportunity. I didn't know if there was someone else to contact about this matter. I am also apart of a non-profit, called Makeup For Cancer that will be launching in a few months and as a non-profit, we are planning on giving back by giving a cancer patients getting married a chance to get the full glam: photographer, videographer, makeup and hair done for them. I felt that I could share something like this with you! Thank you for always being a light unto others with the work that you do.

    Sincerely,

    Kim from Denver, Colorado

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  5. I love this... it's almost like I now have permission to do something I've often felt was wrong - depart without saying goodbye. Lengthy goodbye rituals have always been uncomfortable for me but I've always thought that was a character flaw of mine. The reasoning offered by you & your father is exactly the point! Thank you ~ I'm totally borrowing this. =) ~Kristi

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  6. hi David
    My name is Kayla and ever since i first seen your show i have loved your work. i love the weddings you do they are just so incredible and have always dreamed for you to come and plan my wedding. but the whole reason i am writing you right now is because i love your concept on the whole not saying good bye i think you and your dad are very right when u say good bye, good bye could mean forever and forever is a very strong word and a very strong concept.you are a awesome person who makes peoples dreams come true. i hope that when i get married that i could have you there i am with a man now that i knew as soon as i saw him it would be with him forever. we have been together for three years and i think it is coming very soon i hope. well i hope i get to talk to you again soon and i hope i actually get to meet you in person someday hopefully at my front door for a weeding..
    love always
    Kayla

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  7. I agree completely. One of my mentors taught me to say, "It was nice seeing you." This is much nicer than goodbye and leaves the door open.

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  8. Hello David, it's Maribel :-)

    I celebrated my mom's birthday which is on Valentines Day and via watching your shows I created a fabulous valentines dinner, decorated the kitchen and her bedroom :-)

    Despite with the Early On-Set Alzheimers at the early age of 64 years of age she managed to smile and look around the spectaluar colors of velvet red and vanilla white. :-)

    Thanks to your show, you brought the creativity and vibrance back into my family.

    In connectivity with your latest blog of saying I love you and no Goodbye reiterates the purpose of true purpose and plan to our lives of which is to love and appreciate one another without judgement without ignorance but with lots and lots of respect!

    Until tomorrow,

    Maribel

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  9. No Worries David, I do the same thing! The same things have been said about me as well. Can't please everyone, all you can do is please yourself!
    <3
    Blaire
    (Virginia)

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