Monday, August 27, 2012

You Catch More Flies with Honey than Vinegar

I was just having a conversation with someone the other day and was asking them, “Why can’t people just smile?” Why can’t people just be nice?” I was working on a big celebrity wedding in which the bride was soooo miserable and so angry that I just wanted to go up to her and say, “Aren’t you exhausted from being so mean?”

You know, it’s funny if you stop and look around when you’re doing your day to day things in life, people don’t say hi, people don’t say thank you or please, and it’s really alarming because when those little words are said, you think you’re getting this massive gift from somebody, when at the end of the day it should be expected that you do receive that from everybody. I do it; I say hello, thank you, I appreciate things. That phrase, “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” it’s true. You also do it with a smile and by just being kind. Can you imagine if everybody was kind? Things would be so much easier and enjoyable. Let’s just try it. Wouldn’t that be novel?

20 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. That's so true. Unfortunate people like that teach their kids to be like that as well. Maybe they don't realized but that what kids see around growing up. Is a ruff life sometimes, but we have to be an example to others. A smile could meen so much. Just a smile. Imagine if we could be better persons and do more than a smile. Life won't be that bad after all.

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  3. Everyday I walk to work and as I pass people who are watering their lawn, walking their dogs, or getting in their cars, I say "Good Morning" with a great big smile, and sometimes they smile back other times they look at me like I am crazy, but the next time I see them and do it again, they smile back and say "Good Morning" I am so blessed that my office is a mile away from home, as this has become one of my favorite morning rituals. Thanks for promoting manners and kindness :)

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  4. This is so true David. I say hello, thank you, have a good day and smile all the time some people think I'm strange. I'm just outgoing and it comes naturally to me...I am a bit strange :)

    P.s. Your the best!

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  5. I grew up in small town and live in a small town, and here we say good morning, we let people in traffic over, when some one breaks down on side of road we offer help, some people forget that a smile makes a huge difference in a persons day, a simple I like your dress or have a great day, can really make some one feel better especially if there day goes south. And a little humility goes even farther. My husband and I had a small wedding and have been trying to save for the last 6 1/2 years for a big wedding, but I will say our small wedding was incredibly sweet, we were stationed in Hawaii, he is a Marine and I a single mom going to school working to support my son and I, our neighbor loaned me her wedding dress, she baked our wedding cake and even let us use her back yard as the reception sight, I could not thank her enough and to this day I look at our fuji film wedding pictures and think wow there are great people out there. Just remember David you will stand before God and you can say I was kind, and helped people the best I could, I helped them fulfill their dreams and those that are nasty or rude will stand before him and say oops:) Keep up the wonderful work.

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  6. I work for an assisted living facilit, I always smile, give hugs and kisses. I feel people always needs a happy person around to let them know they r special and loved.

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  7. ANOTHER reason I LOVE you and your show!!!!!! It's not just your INCREDIBLE talent but the way you treat your brides. You are truly an inpsiration David on EVERY level! THANK YOU :)

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  8. So very true. When I go to volunteer at the hospital, I try to smile and say, "Good morning (or afternoon)" or "Hi," or just making eye contact & smiling. I run into some sourpusses but not always. I wish everyone thought like you do, then there wouldn't be so much hate and negativity in the world.

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  9. This is so true people spend too much of their lives being angry, when in fact you should spend time being thankful. Another unfortunate thing is that the lack of gracefulness is being passed on to children. They are the future, what is our future going to look like.

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  10. So true. Thanks for posting this.

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  11. Thanks for the inspiration! Have a wonderful and enjoyable today! :)

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  12. Hi Mr. Tutera,
    yes, it's so true, people don't realize how important and fulfilled it's to give and received a smile, just a simple gesture from your face means a lot and make you feel great! and even though I don't believe in Karma, I know by experienced that you'll always received great things when you are a simple, polite a giver person, it's not right to give and expect to receive something in return, it's more rewarding to give and don't expect anything cause when you get it, it's the most amazing feeling ever.
    I'm being watching on Netflix your episodes and all are great!!, I never had the blessing of having a wedding party, I'm being married for 21 yrs but my daughter who now is 10 is already getting her ideas with your shows on how she'll have her wedding, LOL I hope I have the money to give her the wedding she's dreaming about and enjoy with her the experienced of a life time I never had. Thank you so much for giving to all those brides a great priceless moment. God Bless You Always!!! Raquel Serratos-Garcia

    PS: Great blog, I hope everyone start giving a smile, just waking up in the morning should be enough to be happy =)

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  13. Dear Mr. Tutera,
    I read this and was wondering if you were reading my mind. I see the way people react first hand when one says please or thank you, they brighten up. I work at a very happy place, you could say the happiest on Earth, and I'm always smiling and happy. And its not because I have to be, its because I am genuinely happy. But even there I see people who are angry and cranky and mean. People who seem to be terrified of smiling, like its going to break their face. They just seem to want to just get through the day as fast as they can and it really makes me sad. Seeing people at a beautiful happy place being completely miserable. Sometimes you can make them smile and turn it around, but there are the few you just can't. No matter how much you want to slap them upside the head with happiness, it just won't go through. All we can do is just breathe and let that person go on as they are, no matter how much it annoys us. Even though we can't help that person, we can still choose within ourselves to get up with a smile and a fresh start. (adding a song is optional) Thank you so much for everything you do and God bless you.
    Lots of love,
    Grace E. Shanahan

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  14. Dear David: I most honestly agree with you. I just want to say I totally adore you.. you are so honest and free giving with your believes and emotions and your dreams,, Thank you for all you do for women and men, included, weddings also do include the man, I have just recently started watching your shows on netflix and I have to say I love you.. you are just so inspirational.

    Thank you and God Bless
    Joann Richards

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  15. I lived in LA for years, and also went to college in Washington, DC. I got out of the habit of "being nice" to the point where when I went home for an internship in Pittsburgh, PA and a man said "good morning" to me I jumped back and gave him a terrible look. It was then that I realized I need to get out of that mind set ASAP, because what I was projecting was negativity, and could therefore not receive anything BUT negativity. Now, living outside Northern VA, it's a little country mixed with city, and every one here makes a point to be lovely to each other. It's wonderful.

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  16. David, I could not agree with you more. Having just moved to NYC from laid back northern CA I've had to adjust to people who are too "busy" to be nice. My sister in law always taught me to smile, say hi how are you, thank you and please. Plus with such a beautiful smile, why not share it and make someones day, right? I hope your client's ill mood is due to nerves :/

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  17. Totally agree! You never know what kind of day someone else is having or what they personally are going through at that moment. If you are mean to someone who already has low self worth, that person could be on the edge of doing something unspeakable, and you just pushed them over the edge. People should be kind and loving to one another but so many people aren't. Somehow they get pleasure out of making others miserable. People should take the time to notice people not walk past them without a glance. Doing the right thing makes you feel better and brightens someone else's day too.

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  18. Hi David, (if you really read these). I bet you are so very busy there is no time. I am new to this blog idea so bear with me. I'm on the computer all day for work so I don't do too much computer work on the weekend. I am amazed at what you said here about people. I have noticed at work how I will walk back and forth looking for peoples eyes to catch mine so I can just say "Hi" with a smile. Many times, people will not even look up, or they will look up and away. When that happens, even if I don't know the person, I feel a little hurt. I ask myself, "why?" I guess that I'm like you. I think it is nice to greet people and smile even if we don't know them. I think think a smile is part of our universal language, and I think it is catching....and the world would be a better place if we could just be civil with each other and smile. I am proud to say I'm a christian, and when Jesus came to the world, the two greatest commandments he gave were to Love God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love each other. As I get older, I realize how important these commands are more and more every day. It doesn't matter the color, religion, sexuality, etc., if we could fill our hearts with love for others and give a little smile each day to everyone the world would be a better place.

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  19. I am originally from a small town in New Jersey (Southern portion) and we knew everyone and I was taught when you even by chance make eye contact with anyone you say, "Hi, how are you doing?" and that was it. The military moved us to North Carolina, where everyone says "Please" and "Thank You" and having my husband in the military, my kids were taught respect off the bat. They would use their manners, when the national anthem played they were quiet, if someone talks to them even if you do not like them you be polite and respect them, adults they called them "Miss Kim" or "Mister Alan" and every answer was sir and ma'am. When we would visit New Jersey they would be like what have you done to your kids, they do not act normal. I would look at them like they were nuts, none of my siblings have the same parenting aspect, my sister's children are absolutely miserable and always complaining, my brother's kids are in the middle, and my kids are very pleasant (even when it's a bad day and look to the positive instead of the negative). Of course they are also punished and do chores to earn the things that they get, which none of my nieces and nephews know what a chore or punishment is. Living on a military base does not help matters, because you have people from all over the country and each of us have our own ways and traditions, like not talking or being miserable and sometimes you just have to take a step back at take a look of what you have, because there are people in this world that do not have those things you take for granted. I mean if you think about it there are some people that take tap water or toilet paper for granted and even in this world people would love to have a couple squares of toilet paper or a cup of clean uncontaminated water. My husband swears I was born a southern girl in the north and we argue all the time about the way I talk, because I do not talk like him and I have a little southern accent with the way I talk, even when we first met in NJ. I do not know what it is, I never lived in the south until we moved to North Carolina. But we left North Carolina in June and was restationed in Maryland and I told him, "Away from the warmth of southern hospitality and into the north's cold shoulder again." I would love to move back to North Carolina, just the environment is so much more welcoming and pleasant. But apparently, it does hurt to smile, who knows why people do not realize what they have and who would love to have that simple little thing.

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  20. David,
    My mom has a saying that she tells us kids. "There are so many mean people in the world, Why be mean to each other?" Its made me realize that being kind and tender starts in the home and goes from there.

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