When kids can’t be kids...

It absolutely breaks my heart to hear about each new teenager to take his life after being incessantly bullied by his classmates... and for what... just being gay. While it’s reassuring to see that a few states are taking a stand against bullying by enacting laws such as New Jersey’s Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights Act and California’s Seth’s Law, but I think we also need to stop putting so much media attention on these suicides. I worry that all of this constant coverage is giving other teens who suffer from bullying the idea that taking their own lives is a way out. These kids need to understand that killing yourself is NOT an option. Bullying needs to stop, but suicides need to stop more.

I know how hard it can be for these kids because I was also bullied in school... but I was strong enough to get through it and I trusted it would get better. I can’t stress enough that having an outlet and someone you can share your struggles with is one of the most important things you can do to overcome something like this.

Several years ago, I was asked to return to my high school and give a commencement speech. I admitted to the students that I had dealt with difficulties in school—I didn’t say “bullying,” but in hindsight, I wish I did... I explained that ultimately whether you end up first in your class or 300th, graduating from high school wipes the slate clean. From then on, you can make your own decisions and choose to live however you’d like. It’s a fresh start.

For help with bullying, go to pacer.org. LGBT teens (or those questioning their sexuality) can visit thetrevorproject.org or call 1-866-4-U-TREVOR (1-866-488-7386).

xoxo,
David

Change for the better

We all get comfortable in our day-to-day lives. Some people are so set in their ways that they would never consider changing their hair color... or hairstyle for that matter! Many of us avoid change because we don’t know what it will bring or how it will affect us. But the fact is, change happens, even when we’re satisfied with the status quo. I personally came face to face with this recently when we had some staff changes at my company (employees left, new people were hired). When change comes suddenly and takes you by surprise, you often react by insisting you were in a happy place… that things were fine just the way they were. But then soon after the scene shifts, you realize the change has actually resulted in something better. Change provides a new outlook, a new vision, new direction.

For me, the change turned out to be beyond all expectations. My new employees are simply fantastic and I am so grateful to have them on my team. The experience reminded me to embrace change. And you should too—whether it’s changing jobs, changing your diet, or changing your relationships... it might seem scary or overwhelming at first, but trust that it happened for a good reason. Once you embrace the change and open yourself up to the possibilities, you’ll find that there’s always something bigger and better right around the corner.

A Movie to Inspire You

I love going to the movies! Films are not only a great form of escape, they can also give you the chance to put important issues and events in perspective. Every so often I’ll watch a film that is so moving it should be required viewing for everyone. The story doesn’t necessarily have to be about something you’ve experienced or can personally relate to. It just has to touch you in a way that makes you think about your own life and relationships. The latest movie I’ve seen that falls into the “must-see” category is The Help.

For those who have yet to see the movie (or read the book), the story is about the challenges that the main characters face as black women working for white families around the time of the civil rights movement. Ultimately, it’s a story about human connection and how we treat people we deem “different” from us. It’s just an incredible film on many levels—the acting is brilliant, the cinematography is breathtaking, and the complexity of each heartfelt storyline is powerful beyond belief. What’s most impactful is how you feel after watching the movie… what it does to you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. (I’ll have you know I left the theater in tears!)

When you stop to think about what you’re supposed to be doing in life, you’ll probably come up with some obvious answers… going out and having fun, having a great job, getting married, raising kids, and living a life you believe in. But there’s a bigger picture out there. Everyone has a chance to make their mark on the world—even if it’s just a small handprint. For the character of Skeeter in The Help, that was to write a book from the perspective of black maids during a time when sympathizing with the struggles of African Americans was unpopular.

If everyone did something simple today to benefit the greater good… volunteer, write a letter to their local representatives, be an advocate for social change… imagine what a difference we’d see in the world tomorrow! The problem is that many people say they want to help others or change their own bad behaviors that might affect those around them (like smoking or drinking irresponsibly), but never actually take action. Remember, saying isn’t doing... What's one small thing you can do today?

xoxo,
David

Shout-out to Charlotte, NC!

I just did a beautiful wedding in Charlotte, North Carolina… and it was probably one of the best weddings of my career. The bride and groom were wonderful, of course. But I was simply amazed by the level of expertise, professionalism, and attention to detail I saw from the local vendors we hired. Everyone, from the delivery person and the wait staff to the lighting assistant and the MC, executed every last element with such care and perfection. And this is really saying a lot because the number of people that worked on this wedding was in the hundreds! It was obvious that each individual took their job seriously and really believed in the product or service they were providing.

As many of you know, I’ve worked in this business a long time, but seeing people put their hearts and souls into their work like this is something that still brings me a great deal of joy. I know I’m always talking about the smaller cities and towns… but the ones I’ve visited always seem to have the most genuinely kind and helpful people. So kudos to Charlotte, a city I look forward to visiting again… hopefully sooner rather than later!

xoxo,
David

The Joys of Small Town, USA

A couple weeks ago I headed to Tybee Island, an island on the easternmost point of Georgia, and then to the city of Victoria, on the coastal plains of Texas. Some people might think I prefer big cities like New York and LA—and they DO have their perks—but nothing beats the friendly, laidback vibe that so many small towns offer.

What I enjoy most is going to a place I might not typically visit, and then falling in love with the town and the people and the food. How fabulous is it that traveling around the U.S. can be just as culturally rewarding as traveling abroad? I’ve found that even in the most out-of-the-way places there’s always something new to discover and learn from the locals. Part of the fun is talking to people and finding out what the best places are for sightseeing, shopping, or grabbing a bite.

People who are used to a quieter, simpler way of life have a remarkable way of making you feel right at home—even when home for you is hundreds of miles away. For me, small-town life is comforting, relaxing, and truly a breath of fresh air.

xoxo,
David

The Beauty Within

We all know we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But sometimes we can’t help but make assumptions about things or people based solely on what we see on the outside. Take, for example, one of my very special brides on My Fair Wedding. She’s simply gorgeous. Anyone who saw her for the first time probably thought she had it all. But once I starting working with her on her wedding plans, I was able see that her beauty was much more than skin deep. From inside, this woman, a preacher’s daughter, radiated a genuine kindness, compassion, and generosity—traits you wished more people you met in your everyday life possessed.

Most surprising of all was learning that this bride grew up in a rough neighborhood in Detroit. For better or worse, we are all products of how we were raised. But my bride was proof that it’s up to us to decide how to live the next chapters of our lives. She chose to be a warm, caring individual instead of someone who was angry or bitter about her troubled past.

Always look beyond the exterior—whether that exterior is gorgeous or not so polished. If you or a friend has ever done online dating, you may have sorted your “compatible” mates by the profile pictures alone. But could you have been dismissing the guy with the funny-looking hair (or lack thereof), despite the fact that if you’d actually spent time with him you’d see what a perfect match you really were?

Take the time to get to know someone before rushing to judgments based on physical appearances. You might find that their inner beauty far surpasses anything you see on the outside.

Love, Family and Dreams ... you don't need much else

I’m about to head to sleep after yet another wedding weekend spent with my magical bride and her loved ones, but I just had to write down some thoughts and feelings that have overwhelmed me.
First off, my amazing LA event coordinator, Alissa, knocked this one OUT OF THE PARK! I can’t do everything on my own and having such talented and hardworking people that CARE working with me is such a blessing. Alissa REALLY made me look good this week!
So my bride. Wow. What a beautiful and sweet woman. She lost her mother tragically (and at a very young age) and what amazed me was just how tight knit, supportive and unconditionally loving this family was. To have such sadness at such a young age and to come out so strong and joyous is simply heartwarming. They spent a lot of the evening thanking me and hugging me but again, I am forever thankful for what they do for me. I spent the night in tears. I help bring their dreams to reality, but they bring me clarity in life. These women, and especially my bride tonight, really understand the importance of living life to the fullest and being joyful.
Tonight I had yet another first with a bride. But this time … the roles were reversed. My bride and groom invited me to the dance floor and told me to close my eyes. MY EYES! I was excited, shocked, nervous … and of course couldn’t stop crying. My couple had purchased me a thank you gift in the form of a piece of art. This piece is titled “Girls Best Friend” by Nelson de le Nuez and get this… she told me that this painting is actually a representation of me … because I’m a girls best friend. Speechless. I was, and still am, simply speechless.
I really need to head to sleep but I had to write down how I am continually humbled and inspired by the kind, grateful and warm people I get to work with and meet on a daily basis. Sweet dreams everyone … I know mine will be.

Xoxo,
David