Tuesday, March 6, 2012

"Hate" is a four letter word

Here’s something that my grandmother said to me when I was very young: “Never use the word ‘hate.’” She told me I should never say “I hate you” or “I hate this” or “I hate…” something. “Hate,” she explained, is a very strong, very negative, very damaging word to use.

My grandmother’s message has certainly stuck, and I’m really glad it has. I honestly can’t remember the last time I said I hated someone. But if I do utter the word, it’s always in response to something that is severely wrong or to an extremely uncomfortable situation.

On the topic of “bad” words, it also bothers me when people—especially kids—call people “stupid” or say something “sucks.” These words can be hurtful, and when they come out of your mouth you come across as being disrespectful. So why say them?



  1. Words don't have to be written to be impactful, and people seem to think they say it and it's over with... but its not.. You Curriculum Vitae or Biosketch is nothing comparable to the impression you make...so its important to measure what you say and who you say it to ALL THE TIME. No one will remember what is on my CV, but they might remember a kindness I said or did or -God forbid- something offensive I said or did... The choice is ours to make.. Opt for something positive... the world has already too much going against it!
    David... you are a blessing! :) Nora Rodz

  2. I agree with not trying not to say words that may hurt others. As a teacher for a resource (remedial) classroom for math and reading, I tell my students at the beginning that I don't even want them to say, "That's easy," when asked to do something; because they all have their strong and weak areas, and if they say a task or problem is easy and others can't get it, I don't want them to think something is wrong because it is not easy for them, too. I think that can apply to anything in life, too.

  3. I agree with every word you wrote, 100%. Wise words from your grandma.

    PS. I love your show! You are an absolute living and breathing angel because of all the smiles and tears of joy you bring to so many brides. Keep up the fantastic work.

  4. Absolutely true. I came across the campaign to end the use of the R Word recently and I love that they're encouraging people to take the pledge to never use it. We use words so carelessly and people are so anti political correctness sometimes that we forget what it means to simply be respectful and compassionate. If you haven't seen the campaign, you might check it out at http://www.r-word.org/. I found the videos really insightful and love the links to thoughtful blog writers as well.

  5. hello my name is sharron cooper my wedding day hopefully will be on october5,2012 right now i left all my fears of not having a wedding in GODS HAND through all the planning its like dead ends has been there. ihave waited a life time to marry my GOD SEND now that my life has finally took a 360 degree turn for better there it is the wall. his family has been a GOB SEND they have been my rock through it all the place that i have found in Westfield Nj is called LA"fairs Fine Catering Mr, Alex the manager of the hall he has been my david as i sit and watch david shows oh LORD how u have blessed these wonderful ladies some times i wish oh how i wish that my family can be happy for me. But you know what my love for my future husband out way all the bad i never had a a man soooooooooooo loving in every way. I pray that our dream day will be that day.

  6. You know, I don't know if you read these but, for myself I need to say thank you to you. I work at 9-1-1. People don't often call when they are at their best. Although its arguably the most wonderful job in the world, Hearing so much sadness and so many wrongdoings day in and say out can be disheartening. When I read your blog and watch your show I feel uplifted, I feel a renewed faith in humanity and am reminded of the many beautiful kindnesses that occur every day in this world. Thank you for your heart.


  7. "Hate" is for cowards that can't accept love. When there is hate in someone's heart they can never let love bloom without the ugly shadow of gloomy hate.

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